Do you ever stop to just ‘be with’ your feelings? Do you give yourself permission to feel them while they are within you?
I was raised in a highly clinical environment. Emotions were for the weak. They hampered your rational decision making and should never be considered as a part of any decision making as they will only steer you onto an incorrect path.
Decades later, I know that our feelings are an important part of who we are and that they should be considered a primary input for decision making. If something doesn’t feel right, you shouldn’t do it. Knowing that doesn’t mean that my initial reflex in emotional situations is to stop and be with my feelings.
I read once that the way to change a habit is to become aware of your habit. Chances are that in the beginning you will catch the behavior you want to change after you have completed it. In time, you will catch it as you are doing it. The final stage is catching it before you do it. After successfully, and consistently achieving that, you will have changed your habit.
With the passing of years, I have learned to embrace my feelings. I lean into them and respect them. What I do not generally do is make time for them. For the last month I have been meditating for a time each night. The practice is becoming habit. The next step will be to observe my feelings during this time. I need to quiet my mind in order to listen to my emotions and my body. In this way I hope to become a more unified me.