worry

you worry what others think until
it overtakes your life
driving you to say, do and be
things that you are not.
too much you say
one day
which feels like all the rest to
me and other observers.
a ray of golden sunlight
passing through dismalĀ 
gray clouds and
i finally get to see you.

the point

do you have time to
stop and smell the roses
or admire the play of
the sun against the
clouds as it rises
or hear the birds
proclaim their joy
or feel the brush of
cotton against your skin?
no? then what is the point?

present

i see a glimmer
in the back recesses of my mind,
but when i turn to focus
it fades. we play this game
until i realize that it is
nearly gone. i grieve until
i sit, quietly, focus on my
breath, and am present as
it comes to greet me and
hold me close.

emotions

as i sit quietly,
alone as i rarely am,
emotions bubble to the surface
like ripples on a pond
or the froth on a cappuccino.
hurt, frustration, sadness,
loneliness, calm, and a
bubble of joy, just for
being me.

Zone

Today’s meditation was wonderful. I entered a place where the general distractions of life, the background noises, the cats, the talking, none of it penetrated to the place where I was safely drifting with myself.

Sadly, I cannot report to you that I did anything differently today than I did yesterday, or the day before, but today it worked.

I don’t know whether it was this meditation, or meditation in general, but I did also manage to deal with a difficult emotional situation without breaking down or feeling utterly crushed.

Let’s see where this journey leads.

Not Today

I was a hot mess in meditation today. It was about forgiveness and my mind was in a million places. At the moment, I don’t have anyone or anything I need to forgive per se, but I was also not very present. I was even aware of it a few times during the meditation but just couldn’t break free from my roaming mind.

That’s okay though. It gives me the chance to practice self-compassion.