Bad Habits

It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.

Benjamin Franklin

First let us define a bad habit as a habit you would like to break. Most ‘bad’ habits are just things we have labelled as bad and aren’t morally or ethically wrong. Just like most weeds have beneficial properties and are only weeds because they are growing where we don’t want them to grow.

So with that definition in mind, are habits easier to prevent than to break? Not according to science. Science says that it takes 30 days to build a habit and 7 days to break one. I guess that means the real question is, do you want to break it?

Motivation

There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear.

Toni Morrison

I so want to agree with Toni. The problem is that I don’t.

I think there is time for despair, it’s okay to feel despair, just don’t live there. I think that a little self-pity is something we all deserve. After all, if you don’t pity yourself from time to time, who will. Allow that feeling. Just don’t live there. There may be no need for silence, but sometimes silence is the best way to be heard. There is always room for fear. Sometimes it has the nicest room in the place. It is lonely and clamors for attention night and day. It really just wants to be held, accepted, loved; like the rest of us.

I understand that Toni is being motivational. She wants us to hear that we each have a very worthy voice, which deserves to be heard, not silenced by fear or despair. I agree that we have to move with these feelings. I just don’t see us moving despite these things. Don’t dismiss your feelings. Embrace them. They are neither good, nor bad. They just are.

Worth

One of the deep secrets of life is that all that’s really worth doing is what we do for others.

Lewis Carroll

How do decide what is worth doing? It is what will make you money, further your career, help you find love? Why is that show on TV worth doing? What do you get from Facebook or Instagram? How does that new car/house/vacation improve your life?

I have a pretty well paid 9-5. I have good benefits. I go to work and I do my best to help my company measure how much money they are making, and find new ways to increase that revenue. I get no satisfaction from this job, other than knowing my family has what we need.

I am a serial volunteer-a-holic. I love the way helping others makes me feel. Why serial then? Because the longer I spend with an organization, the more I realize that they aren’t really helping. I will continue the search. I will continue doing for others, because that’s all that’s really worth doing.

React

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

Charles R. Swindoll

So I believe that Charles was trying to say that our reactions have more meaning in our life than what happens to us. In other words, do you react with poise and grace, or do you fly into a rage?

When I read this I see how it applies to our modern attachment to electronics. We are all looking for our next reaction so that we can post to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram… Rather than create something of our own, we lurk, waiting for something to happen so that we can tell others what we think, how we feel, or what we think they should do about it. Slow news days are so boring!

Believe

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

Buddha

When I was younger, I would often tell the truth I thought that others wanted to hear. I would be gregarious, shy, kinky, logical, down to earth, practical. I was practically made to order. As I played each role, it was my truth.

With time, being a chameleon ate away at my spirit. I began to drift, uncertain of who I was, and what was true. The boundaries blurred and began to merge and they formed a picture I did not like.

Now, in this present, I honor my truth. I am aware that it may not be your truth, for we each have our own truths. This isn’t science after all, it’s the truth. My truth is that I am a thinker with a big heart, and deep emotions that, if you are lucky, I will share. Your truth is that I am far too cerebral and emotionally immature. Both are true. Truth is all about the story you choose to believe.

Kisses

The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

There are moments in life that will stick with you forever. Moments that you remember as though you had just experienced them even though they happened years ago. I have a few of those memories. Some are cannons and some are kisses. I much prefer the kisses. Those are the times I revisit often.

Connections

The lamps are different, but the light is the same.

Rumi

I find Rumi to be both enlightening and uplifting.

We, each of us, have a light inside of us. Maybe this light is the fire of life, our eternal soul, or some other label we have created, but no matter how we label it, we recognize it in ourselves and in others. As we rush through life, we rarely take the time to recognize the light in those we interact with, nor do they recognize ours. We each look different, but the light from within proves that we are all fundamentally the same.

Today, as you go through your day, take a few moments with each person you meet to see their light. You do not need to tell them you have done it, or acknowledge it out loud. Just slow down enough to see our connection.