Appreciation

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

Dr. Seuss

Some truths we know but struggle against. The good Doctor was right. We need to smile because that wonderful thing happened, but instead, most of us, end up crying because it’s over. We do our best to keep it alive even as we feel it slipping through our fingers. We are so attached to feeling good that we just can’t bear to let it go.

I am working now on appreciating, valuing, and loving, while not being attached to any particular outcome. I do not have the words to express how difficult this really is! Yet as I have been going down this path, I have found that it is beginning to work. I have become more authentic to myself and my life has begun to make some nearly miraculous changes.

My daughter decided what she wants to do when she grows up [she’s a young adult]. I have always believed that family should come first and so I would do whatever it took in order to make her dreams come true. In this case, it would entail a cross country move. At first I was filled with fear and doubt. By American standards we are living just above poverty. We can afford what we need [which makes us incredibly blessed], and some things we want. In order to move us I would need enough money to move and a steady income at the other end. I told the Universe I wanted this to happen and I had no earthly idea how. In a timely fashion, the Universe supplied me with the opportunity to work 100% remotely! I went to a eBuyer and sold the house for enough to pay off the debt! I should have enough money for the move as well. I even love my new job more than my previous job! I am in the middle of this journey still, but because I was not attached to how we managed it all, only that we managed it all, I have been amazed at the journey and how things have just happened as if by magic! Not only that but since it hasn’t been because of my planning, I am able to really appreciate and value the miracle rather than being stressed and trying to force it all to work out.

All that said, it is a process. I have bad moments, and days, and sometimes weeks, as I struggle with my desire to control things [which I cannot do anyway!!!]. I tell myself it’s okay to try and fail as long as you get back up and try again.

the point

do you have time to
stop and smell the roses
or admire the play of
the sun against the
clouds as it rises
or hear the birds
proclaim their joy
or feel the brush of
cotton against your skin?
no? then what is the point?

waxing

waxing philosophical about
what motivates people. why do we
jump to conclusions, not listen, when
friends share with us? why do we
feel it is our right to voice our opinion
when we didn’t take the time to
become familiar with the topic first? why do we
judge others in ways we do not
judge ourselves? why do we
not see the suffering we create
when we treat our friends like
internet trolls? why do we
not consider the feelings we might
be hurting…

reflection

do you take the time to ponder
choices you made
or actions you took?
not in a critical way…
i should have…
why didn’t i…
when will i learn…
in more of a
how did i get here from there?
why did i make that choice
when it is so far from my norm?
gathering insights into
the beautiful you these
choices have shaped.

life

life is not practical.
messy and awkward,
sweaty and stained;
life is the way you live it.
do you embrace the little joys
the celebrations, the flowers,
the love?
do you aim for a life free of
mistakes, failures, and accidents?
do you struggle to control
and dictate actions and feelings?
life is the way you live it.
sweaty and stained,
messy and awkward;
life is not practical.

steps

often in the passage
of time i do not
notice how far i
have come.

so caught up in where
i am going i do not
stop to celebrate the
victories accomplished.

i want to slow down.

i want to celebrate
life each day, see
where i have been
and where I am as well
as where I am going.

i want to enjoy each step.

now is the time to begin
with this celebration of
the gift given to me…
this life.

direction

do you have direction?
north, south, east, west,
which combination are you?
up, down, sideways, diagonal,
maybe those are better for you?
do you allow yourself to combine
any or all of these? others?
do you pick them as you go
or plan them all out in advance?
sometimes it’s overwhelming.

differences

how do you know
the difference between
persevering and stuck?
is it as simple as striving
for something you desire
versus fear of change?
persevering is a noble word
but isn’t it also selfish?
if you are afraid
would you listen to your inner voice
when it told you so?
isn’t it all just perspectives
and aren’t they fluid?

Learning

I was taught to reach

never rest on your laurels

work hard to see reward

make it happen

 

when is the time to stop

look at your accomplishments

smile and be grateful?

 

I am learning to appreciate

my Walden Pond

as I walk and live

in this moment